In praise of the scene at Cahoon Hollow Beach

OMG, people are having a great time at the National Seashore! What’s this world coming to?

Hey, where is everybody?

Most summer days when I jump on a bicycle (OK, now pedal-assisted) and meander down Long Pond Road in Wellfleet to Ocean View Drive and the Beachcomber-Cahoon Hollow turnoff, glide to the parking lot, dump the bike and truck down the dune to the bracing sea, I find myself thinking I may be the oldest person on the beach.

And yes, sometimes after I dive into the surf (eye peeled for a shark fin), I’ll swing into the ‘Comber and drink a beer, slapping Matt the bartender a wet 10-spot fished out of my bathing suit. Then another run down the dunes for an invigorating dunk to clear my head before I bike home.

Last summer I made this beautiful trek maybe 20 times, so I have first-hand experience to say this: Cahoon Hollow Beach is one great scene, just like it is.

In all my years I have never seen a fight. I have never seen an argument. I struggle to remember seeing a frown. I’ve seen plenty of beers but never an ugly drunk.

What I’ve seen are guys and girls hanging out, flirting, screaming when they get the courage to jump in the cold water, flinging footballs, spiking volleyballs, families sprawling on blankets with dad in a folding chair, couples napping, friends talking, reading, eating. Most people share a nod or hello as they wander by, unfailingly polite. Kids pile castles against the tide and no one kicks sand in their faces.

Just one example of typical behavior: On a crowded July weekend, I forgot I’d flung my baseball cap above high tide before a plunge and then started strolling back. A couple of guys ran 50 yards to catch me and hand it back.

“If it was black I might have kept it!” one of them laughed.

“Nah, too ratty,” I smiled. “Besides, if you put that hat on you might become bald like me.”

Both recoiled in mock horror.

A few feet in both directions, the beach becomes National Seashore, no longer Wellfleet. But Wellfleet police have a presence. ATVs patrol and cops at the drive help manage drop-offs and pick-ups. I have never seen an arrest, but I’ve seen scores of people taking selfies with officers at the edge of the dune, scores of times when Wellfleet’s finest borrow the i-phone to tag a gaggle of friends, digitizing memories. This has to be the best police beat in town, for a town that doesn’t have many beats.

As Cape Cod continues to grey and become more exclusive, this is not our typical crowd. But this is the generation we should welcome. In years to come we hope they will celebrate and defend places like the Cape Cod National Seashore, in part because of good memories. They have as much right to it as any birder or gentle environmentalist.

Wellfleet police want to ban alcohol at the beach, which of course would send a message about who is welcome and who isn’t. No one can produce proof of any increase in arrests, fights or medical calls to justify this because there isn’t any. The supporting incident the police chief invoked to the selectboard was in 2019 when there was an argument, what the chief called a drunken melee of 40 people that somehow one officer was able to control. The police take credit for years of civilized behavior; at the very least, that credit should be shared with the great people who beach.

The phrase used to describe the scene this summer was “controlled chaos.” Unless we describe all life that way, this is beyond inaccurate. It is an unintentional insult to those who join this law-abiding, Americana throng.

So cars sometimes line up at the top, waiting to drop people off or find a parking space? The Funk Bus has a regular route? A police presence helps smooth public access? It’s called Cape Cod, it’s called summer, it’s called the National Seashore. It’s one spot in a wonderful tourist town. Are we really saying this celebration has no place in who and what we have become?

However we choose to define ourselves, come next summer this old guy will once again pedal to the ocean, heart and legs willing. I just hope I still get the chance to join the party-hearty, polite, very cool, beer-drinking crowd.

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