The coolest supermarket shopping list
A revealing, hilarious artifact, the kind that can be recovered in a parking lot
Creating a supermarket shopping list is a small domestic rite we all know.
Most times it’s taking a quiet moment to make sure we get what we need, don’t go all catatonic and overloaded roaming the aisles.
Sometimes the idea is to avoid impulse buying that blows out the checkout bill; hey, glazed donuts aren’t on the list!
And sometimes it’s instructions to a third party running the errand, willing or no.
Occasionally little paper rectangles flutter and skip around the parking lot. It might be a receipt and that’s no fun, but every once in a while it’s one of these personal lists, discarded or lost.
When that happens it’s like discovering an artifact at an archeological site, because all personal expressions, including lists, offer forensic clues about the people who create them:
Is this Homo Sapiens a vegetarian?
Only unsalted butter — hmm, high blood pressure?
Why would someone need six bags of potato chips; big party in the offing?
Does the coffee creamer really have to be hazelnut, the burger 90/10 meat/fat instead of 80/20?
Mint chocolate chip ice cream — good idea.
Coke on sale in 12-packs, two for one; anyone checked for diabetes lately?
Fancy toilet paper — deducing disposable income.
And the handwriting plays in, because cursive also offers personality hints:
Tight and small?
Sprawling and loose?
Staying between the lines?
OK, why this banter?
Because I’ve come across the best shopping list ever.
It was meant for a single moment and meal, not a week’s worth of stuff but still the coolest.
Apologies to anyone offended by the language — though if so, please take a deep breath, a large step back, then break out a big smile:
Man or woman?
Handwriting and contents aren’t conclusive.
No need to bother to dot the ‘i’s? Agreed.
This is an artifact deposited by a big personality with a great sense of humor, maybe someone not perfect far as spatial planning (the ‘s’ in the “bitchin taters” line needed to get tucked in), but clearly possessing another wonderful attribute: Conscious cook.
Whoever you are, love your style.
Invite me over for dinner anytime.
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I love this! I hope it was written for their partner and that said partner didn’t see it till they were in the aisles and it had them laughing throughout the store. I’m definitely doing this for my man Tim. Love to make my loved ones laugh!
Love this. To me it sounds like a recipe copied from someone else’s , maybe verbally said and written down with either person being cheeky, or copied because they sampled what someone made and felt it deserved to be described as such, or given directions of what to buy . A friend, TV, online, a restaurant , who knows? But delightful! Thanks for sharing.